[through a prompt from here.]
The valve was finally turned for the day.
I opened my eyes. Colours immediately flooded my sight, from the muted pink of the walls to the blue sky outside. I sat on the bed. A girl with long, brown hair, and blue eyes, staring right at me. I blinked. She blinked. It took me long enough to recognise myself on the mirror; the valve was turned.
Tying up my long hair into a bun as I went to get prepared for the day. An autopilot switch had been turned somewhere in my brain as I did things without thinking. Laptop, books, contacts and my car keys, check. A last look to my room. Check.
A jungle of concrete went past me as I drove through downtown. Vehicles of various types, sizes, colours, and sound all went past. Colourful banners of advertisement and campaigns greeted me as I go, a never ending loop of faces and promises I never believed in.
A pair of fingers snapped in front of my eyes. I looked at the owner of the said fingers. A warm smile greeted me, someone I finally was glad to see. He sat in front of me and proceeded to enjoy his breakfast. I already finished my coffee. I said no when he offered his food. He talked ardently about the first scientific paper he was going to publish under his name. I told him I was proud of him.
The day went through drearily. Colours went through my eyes so much they went grey; I was in another plane. People came and talked about how voracious their lives were. I was happy for them.
I went back through the concrete jungle, pressing my foot flat on the gas. The city just went greyer than before. John Mayer blared on the radio as I lowered the window, wetting my face as rain poured from above. I wanted to feel alive.
I turned my key. The only greeting I got was a gust of cold wind from the air conditioner residue from a few hours ago. I froze. Just like my life. Cold. Dreary. Grey.
I sat on the bed. A brown haired, blue eyed, lost girl staring right through me. She followed all my movements. It took me a few minutes to remember how I looked like. Sad. Lost. Bland.
I turned the valve off prematurely for the day.
I don’t want to remember how to be alive for now.
I want to be eaten alive by the earth.
Then everything went black.
The valve had been turned off.
. (d. 18/10/2. 5pm.)
